Living, Breathing Toxins

Image by Earl - What I Saw 2.0

I've decided to make a couple of changes this year, and one of the biggins is to be more honest with myself about relationships. Friendships, romantic relationships, the whole gamut. I always thought I was this ridiculous, sentimental person, but I know now that tonnes of people have this same flaw. We clutch at straws trying to keep a relationship thriving, when it's clear that the person is totally toxic. One of the biggest mistakes I made last year was clinging to a relationship that was going nowhere, and taking me with it. It ended up being really detrimental, in a lot of ways - being around each other so much was so draining, I completely lost my spark. My personality changed, I wasn't excited about life at all, and I lost all drive and motivation.

Toxic people are everywhere - at work, driving your bus, in front of you at the shops - that's just how things are. That's fine, because you don't interact with these people in any real depth. Sometimes, though, these people somehow become a substantial part of your life. Maybe you just missed it at first. Maybe they changed over time - or maybe you changed, and you notice it now. Toxic people are generally negative - everything pisses them off in some way or another, and you can bet your sweet ass they will vocalise it. There is also a lot of bitchiness. Don't be fooled, some of the biggest bitches I've encountered are males. They gossip, and they badmouth people, and judge them unnecessarily - to you about others, or maybe to others about you. You know these people - an encounter with them leaves you feeling drained of energy, or miserable, or irritated.

When you click with a person, being around them energises you, and revitalises you, even if it's purely platonic. And when you're in a romantic relationship that is positive and enriching, you feel the electricity; sparks fly. Your tummy does backflips when you see them, and you flush every time they stroll into your thoughts. Next time you walk away from an encounter with someone, think about how you feel. Do you feel uplifted, happier, like seeing them made your day a bit better? Sweet! Bask in it! Or, do you feel exhausted, and heavy?

Be honest with yourself, and the toxic person in question. You may not want to cut them out of your life completely (unless they are that much of a burden), so maybe you can tell them that you need to spend some time apart. It's up to you as to whether or not you explain yourself (I've come to find that overly negative people don't take criticism, constructive or no, all that well) but maybe they'll take heed of your words. If you think they really have that bad an influence on you, maybe the best thing to do is cut them out completely. If this is the path you choose, I say be completely honest. Tell them what the deal is, and remove them from your phone, your photo album, your facebook friends, and your life - at least for now. Yes, they may get offended and pissy, but then with that attitude, they really had to see this coming. Right?